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Post by Sanda on Apr 6, 2011 22:06:37 GMT -6
Cute update Melinda Jo. Haweye and Margaret are soo cute and adorable together.
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Post by melindajo2000 on Apr 14, 2011 18:17:18 GMT -6
Finally she pulled back from the fevered kiss. Hawkeye raised his eyebrow and grabbed her hand and attempted to bring it to his lips.
"Uh-Uh." She smiled as she wrested her wrist away from him. "Not so fast, Pierce."
"Not a problem. We can go slower." He grinned as he pulled himself back over to her, to which she responded by shoving him over to his cot.
"Playing hard to get? I must say Margaret that I find this side of you appealing. Come to think of it I find every side of you quite appealing."
"Are you finished?" She said sternly.
He said nothing, although he looked quite puzzled.
"Good. Because I'd like to talk."
"Talk! I don't think it's a fine time to talk after you drive a man to distraction and then you tell him you just want to talk! Margaret that's not fair!"
"So you're saying it's not possible for us to have a conversation without getting distracted?"
"No, that's not what I said!" he protested." I don't understand what happened back there? One minute we're kissing….and you are one hell of a kisser….and the next thing I know you're giving me the old 'we need to talk' speech." I'm confused."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to confuse you. But I did mean to kiss you. Are you mad at me?"
He looked at her and shook his head and smiled. "No. But you don't play fair."
"I play to win."
"What are you aiming to win, pray tell?"
"Us. I want us. I had a taste of it and we weren't ready for it. But I'm ready and I need to know if you're ready. Or if you even feel the same way."
Hawkeye drew in a deep breath but said nothing. So Margaret spoke instead.
"Don't humor me. I can take it. Just don't lie to me. I won't lie to you., I'll tell you anything you want to know but I won't lie. And I expect the same from you. And I'll know it if you lie. We're both adults. We both know the score. I don't want any games, any drama, nothing. I just want to be able to live with myself. And you're a big part of that. I can count on you to be honest, I know I can. I am asking you to set aside your cheesy jokes if you can. Please listen to me. That's all I'm asking. I know that the jokes are part of you…I am not asking you to change. I'm just asking you to set aside the jokes so we can be real with each other. You know how I have my masks. I can get mean and defensive and push people away. Well you joke and can keep people from knowing you in the same way. So what I'm asking is for us to just be real. Drop the defenses. Truce?"
Her eyes sparkled as they met his. There was no way he could deny her request, as much as he wanted to. She was right; his first reaction was to make a joke but he quickly shut his mouth. If she was humbling herself before him then certainly he could meet her halfways. But the minute she got defensive with him the jokes would certainly fly.
:"Truce". He shook her hand.
:"So, Hawkeye, do you know why I'm here?" She asked as she pulled up in the chair.
"No, take the bed. I'll sit in the chair."
"Ok. Well…do you?" She involuntarily licked her lips, which was driving him crazy.
"I understand that your feelings for me have changed."
Her heart sunk. He hadn't added anything to that, so maybe he didn't feel the same way.
No, Margaret…stay with the game plan. Don't presume anything. Tell him how you feel. Give him the opportunity to talk. You don't know how he feels…he may not know how he feels. Jumping down his back certainly won't help him sort out his feelings. Now is a good time to keep my wits about me.
"Yes, Hawkeye, they have. When I think about going home and never seeing you again, well, I feel sick. I can't explain it. But I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You've become part of me. I can't say for certain when it happened, or how. All I know is that it has happened and now you're leaving. And I don't know what I'm going to do! And I'm scared."
"Margaret Houlihan, scared? That will be the day. I've never known you to be scared of anything! Well except for loud noises."
"Well I'm scared of going my life and not knowing how to deal with these feelings that I have. I thought that I could just deny them, I could wait them out, I could just make them go away. But it turns out it doesn't work that way. And here I am making a fool out of myself telling you these things when I haven't a clue how you feel. But you know what?" She smiled.
"What's that?"
"I'm not doing this for you. Of course I know how I'd love for this to turn out. But I'm doing something I've never done before and I'm doing it for myself. I'm being honest about who I am and what I need and I'm not going to apologize for it. I hope you can deal with that. I'm still Hot Lips Houlihan. I'm still Margaret. I'm still me but I'm not taking all the crap that I've taken for such a long time!"
"Oh Margaret, I think that's wonderful! I always knew you were taking too much crap from the men in your life. Everyone could see that but you."
"Everyone? Who's everyone?"
"Not everyone. Maybe everyone that knew you. I knew you."
She took a deep breath, remembering that she didn't want to get defensive. This was the moment she'd been praying for and didn't want to jeopardize it by pushing Hawkeye away. "You could see I was making bad choices but you didn't say anything? Why?"
"It wasn't my place…But I didn't want you to be hurt, I hope you know that." He offered sincerely.
"I know that, Hawkeye. And that's one reason I ..care for you. You've let me make my own mistakes. I hate being told what to do, and you've never tried that with me. I appreciate that. More than you realize."
"Well I just try to treat you like a human."
"And you do. You treat me like I'm a human being with real feelings and real problems and real needs. Not too many people see me as a real person. You do. I don't know how you do it but you do. I think that's remarkable."
Hawkeye smiled. "I think you're remarkable. You act so offended when people see you as a human…don't get that offended look on your face—but it's true. But I know that that's what you need. Because you're a real human with real emotions and real needs. You're so busy worrying about the needs of those around you that you forget that you have your own needs. Don't think that I haven't noticed that. But when I try to heaven forbid intrude on your private world and try to meet some of those needs for you get so mad at me and you push me away! Heaven help the man who truly gets close to you."
If looks could kill, Hawkeye would be dead. But Margaret closed her eyes, and reaffirmed her decision to be completely open-minded, even if it would kill her. Hawkeye was talking, this was a good thing. Maybe.
"You mean you wanted to be close with me?"
"Plenty of times! But you always shut me down. Every time. Any time I'd get within a five mile-radius of that heart of yours I'd get shot down immediately upon entry. You may not have noticed but I did have feelings for you, Margaret."
Panic began to seize her as soon as she heard that past tense word. "Did….Did…What do you mean you did.?"
"That should make you feel good that I had feelings for you? But that was awhile ago. Now you're asking me how I feel…I don't know. That's the best I can tell you. I don't know how I feel about anything. I need time to think. I know I have feelings. I just don't know what they are."
"Oh yeah! I feel just like a queen! You tell me you used to have feelings for me but you don't any more. I feel just great. I go to all this trouble and I make a fool out of myself" her cheeks flushed beet red. "All for what…a guy that can't be bothered to think that he might have feelings for me? Well don't do me any favors, mister?"
With that, she grabbed her jacket and slammed the door shut, getting as far away from Hawkeye as possible
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Post by jessie on Apr 14, 2011 18:56:29 GMT -6
Wow great update Melinda, I love this story so much. Margaret and Hawkeye were two of my favourites. I loved Trapper too.. Awesome writing, you write Margaret so well, I love your writing. Hope to see a update real soon.
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Post by Sanda on Apr 14, 2011 23:27:33 GMT -6
Great update MelindaJo. Please update again soon.
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Post by melindajo2000 on Apr 20, 2011 21:06:49 GMT -6
chapter 7
Margaret collapsed on her pillow after evading Hawkeye's attempt to return to him. He knocked on the door to her tent for a good ten minutes but she refused to acknowledge him. Normally she would have been petrified at the very thought of people watching him stand at her door, but what did she care, really? This was their last night.
Let him play the fool.
Finally after she was certain he'd left she changed into a pair of slacks and a shirt. She looked sadly on the dress that she'd eagerly hoped would impress a certain doctor. Oh, it had alright. She could still taste his kisses on her lips. But now .
She couldn't let herself think about that now. Not with the farewell dinner to get through. She'd have the rest of her life to think about it. All she had to do was get through two more hours of Hawkeye Pierce.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Margaret!" Hawkeye pounded on the door one final time. She was just a few feet away from him but it may as have been miles as far as she was concerned. He sighed as recognized that Margaret had officially shut down. She didn't holler at him, although he wished she would have. That would been the least little bit of encouragement he needed to stand outside of her door. But she was giving him nothing. Is that how she was feeling? Did she walk away from him feeling that he'd given her nothing?
One more pound on the door. If only Margaret could hear this revelation!
"Please let me in. I have something to say. You'll like this. I promise. It's important. Please." He begged. He was working as hard as he could to get in between those walls and was getting no where. And she was still there, that was the d**ning part. She was in there, being Margaret, but she just had had enough of him. Wasn't this the way things always went between the two of them?
"Margaret…I know you're in there." He sang. "Come out come out wherever you are." Maybe if he asked nicely, maybe if he made her like him, maybe if he made her forget that she was even angry with him, then she could come out. Here he goes again, trying so be Hawkeye to get to Margaret. And it was the most complicated thing in the world. What's up with all of the pretenses and the roles? Will she like me if I play "Good Hawkeye"? Maybe if she doesn't like Good Hawkeye then Funny Hawkeye might appeal to her senses. If that doesn't work….there's got to be one part of him that she would respond to. She may be mad at most of him but if she could just find one part of him that she liked then maybe that would be a good place to start. The other Hawkeyes could come out slowly, not all at once. Right now she was shutting all of him down and he was running out of time! Its not time for Sincere Hawkeye simply because she's already angry and would shut him down in a second. Hawkeye's mind was working overtime trying desperately to figure out what man she needed him to be right now and he just couldn't tell, not with her locked in her tent. And so it dawned on him that he would get absolutely nowhere standing outside of her tent, and he sadly walked away. He walked over to the clerk's office.
"Klinger, I need your help. I need you to place a phone call to San Francisco. It's important."
"Aw jeez, I'm supposed to get ready for dinner! Why couldn't you have come by earlier in the day?" Klinger grumbled as he picked up the phone.
After a few minutes, Hawkeye was placed through to B.J. Hunnicutt.
"Beej? It's me. How are you?"
"Hawk, is that you? Do you have any idea what time it is? Are you okay?"
"Yeah. At least I think I am. Listen I have to ask you something." Hawkeye placed his hand over the receiver and motioned for Klinger to leave.
".am I mysterious and confusing? If you were a girl would you date me:?" Hawkeye asked as he sat down.
B.J. laughed. "No I will not date you. You're not a blond. But you're not confusing and mysterious at all!"
"Gee thanks. I mean…am I those things….to a girl?"
B.J. thought about it for a minute."You mean to tell me you're worried about what a woman thinks of you? When did this happen and who…..ohhhhh."
"What, what is that ohhh about.?"
"I've only known you to come to me and ask me about one woman's opinion before. I think that is is the same woman who has gotten you sweating bullets. You're wondering about what she sees in you! And you're sweating because you care, more than you like to admit to. Say no more."
:"You're not supposed to know about this! But I'm torn in knots. She came to me, oh gosh, she looked amazing. I couldn't even think straight! She said some things to be about having feelings but I wasn't paying that much attention to what she was saying. And then you wanna know what she did? She kissed me!"
B;J. grinned from ear to ear. "Did you say Hot Lips laid one on you?
"I'll say she did. It was an amazing kiss. She looked so good, she smelled so good….I kissed her back. And then she stopped me to say that we needed to talk. I gotta say that wasn't so cool in my book but I didn't let on. I was willing to talk even though my mind was no where ready to talk. This is where the bad timing line would apply to our conversation. I wasn't quite sure I was on the same page she was on. She talked about what had happened between us before, and that she was looking for that now. She says she's scared of her feelings for me, Beej. She says that she doesn't know what she'll do without me in her life. And on the inside I was freaking out. Margaret…scared…and it had something to do with my feelings. So I didn't really jump in the conversation the way I should have. I didn't tell her that I'm scared of my feelings for her. She has no clue that I feel the exact same way she does. So she's the one with the courage to lay it out on the line and I'm just the one too scared to say anything. And so she hates me now. She's locked herself up in that tent of hers and she refuses to do anything with me. She did something I only dreamt of having the nerve to do and she saw right through me. She saw the scared little kid and now that's where we're at. She hates me."
"Well, Hawk, you see her being her stubborn unreasonable self not giving an inch…she's being Margaret right now, right? And she saw you being a scared little kid…so she saw you being Hawkeye at times. The thing is with love, you don't just get to pick and choose which parts of a person you love. If you love them, you love them all. I wish she was here so I could give her this same lecture. If you could keep loving her now, knowing she's acting like this, what would you do?"
"Well I might try to talk to her…maybe after dinner…give her some space for a little while."
"And that will give you enough time to decide if you even love her. It's okay if you don't, you know."
"Don't get mad at me. I'm not the one you have to convince that you're in love."
"Thanks." Hawkeye muttered.
"Glad to help. I've gotta run before I wake Peg up. She has a big day tomorrow. But listen….I'm glad you called. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye because there just wasn't enough time. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I wouldn't have made it through Korea if I hadn't have found you. I really wish I could have been there for you. I'm sorry that I wasn't. I hope you understand."
"Well, you mean a lot to me too. Don't worry about me. Anyways I guess this is it. I'll give you a call after I make it back to the states."
"Sounds good. Take care of yourself."
And with that, Hawkeye hung up the phone and strengthened his resolve. He would find a way to talk to Margaret after dinner. He just couldn't bring himself to admit that it was over between them. It couldn't be. After everything he'd been through he'd learned not to plan the future too far in advance. And Margaret being Margaret, there was no way to predict how she'd react. But he'd never forgive himself if he didn't give it one last try.
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Post by jessie on Apr 24, 2011 11:12:14 GMT -6
I'm so sorry , I didn't realize you updated this story. Oh that was a great update, I love the talk between Hawkeye and BJ.. Oh I can't wait until the next chapter, oh I love this story. I hope Hawkeye and Margaret work everything out. Jessie
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Post by melindajo2000 on May 2, 2011 15:05:36 GMT -6
Chapter 8
Hawkeye sadly looked after Margaret, knowing he would have to go after her. There was no way he could let her walk away now. He knew how he felt but for some reason he just couldn't express what she meant to him. Why couldn't she understand? Why did she have to put him on the spot? Of course there was urgency, there was no doubt. And now it was up to him to decide whether or not to make things right. Is this the way things should end, with her hating him? Maybe she was right. Maybe it was time for the both of them to own up to their feelings and decide to take a chance.
I've been avoiding this day for too long. It makes me nervous, thinking about what could be happening between us. But it makes me more nervous thinking about what could happen if I lose her. She makes me crazy and I don't know whether I'm coming or going. All I know is that I'm going crazy thinking about holding her. I have to stop this madness. I have to make this right.
Hawkeye sat back down on the side of his bed and put his hand on his forehead. He was confused, not knowing if he should go after her or not. On one hand he knew he didn't have anything to lose. On the other he didn't want her to hate him. Actually he was more afraid that she would take him back. He thought back to his conversation with B.J. after his night with Margaret all those nights ago. B.J. had pointed out that maybe Hawkeye was scared that he felt something for her. And he was right. He was scared then just like he was now. The question was what was he going to do about it.
00000000000
Margaret sank back down on her bed. He did it again. Hawkeye made a fool out of her, she fumed. How could she let him do it? Suddenly she felt old, too old for the game she found herself playing. She should have known he wasn't interested in a relationship. Everyone knew that wasn't his style. What made her think she could change him? She prided herself in the fact that she wasn't naïve.
They say love is blind, and I certainly believe it. It's a good thing I'm leaving tomorrow. I certainly could never face him again. He's come to mean so much to me, more than just friends. And this is the way it ends?
Even though he broke her heart, her heart sank at the knowledge she would never see him again. Just because he didn't feel the same way didn't mean she could switch off her emotions. Life could be so cruel.
00000000000
Hawkeye got off the bed where he made his way to her tent.
"Margaret, it's me. Let me in."
"Go away." She hollered as she dried her eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I said go away."
"I mean it. Let me in."
"No."
He began to sing a song from an opera.
She opened the door and gave him a dirty look. "Get in here, you cretin."
"Thanks. That means a lot."
"What do you want.? I'm busy. I have to finish packing, not that I owe you an explanation."
"It looks like you're already packed."
. "I suggest you state your business and then get out. I'm very busy."
"Look, Margaret, about what happened…"
"I don't want to talk about it." She turned away from him.
He placed his hand on her shoulder. "But I do. You see, I don't know what happened back there. I got scared. When you told me that you loved me I just wasn't sure what I felt. I guess I always knew how I felt but I didn't want to admit it to anyone. Most of all myself. You see I have feelings, too."
She narrowed her eyes. "Are you trying to say.."
"I'm trying to say I love you too."
"Oh Hawkeye. She grinned and she wrapped her arms around him. But he didn't return the embrace.
"Don't you know what this means? I can resign my commission. We can start a new life away from this awful place and we don't ever have to mention the word war again. I know it will be a change but I can get a job in Maine and…"
"No, Margaret…you don't understand. It's not that easy." Hawkeye sighed. "I do love you. But I can't let you quit the army. It's your life. You wouldn't be happy otherwise."
Her jaw dropped as she registered what he was saying.
"I want to be with you but I can't- I won't-hold you back. You would hate me for it and I would hate myself for it. I want to be with you but not like this. It's not right."
Hawkeye surprised himself. That's not what he went there intending to say. But it was the truth. He could never live with himself if Margaret gave everything up to be with him.
"Maybe if you don't re-enlist…."
"I don't believe you!" she slapped him across the face. "You tell me you love me but you won't be with me! How dare you! What a cop-out! You have some nerve coming to my tent just to insult my intelligence. I love you, Pierce. I wouldn't just quit for anyone. I would have my nursing. Don't you think I know what I'm doing? Don't you think I would be happy doing that? I'm sick and tired of the army. Don't you sit there and tell me what's best for me."
"Margaret…maybe I'm wrong. Believe me I'm sure I would be happy with you. But I just think you'd be making a mistake."
"Is that so?"
He nodded.
"Well let me tell you something, buster. I'd rather take a chance and make a mistake than spend my life hiding behind some lame excuses like some scared little boy."
"I'm not being scared, I'm being practical."
"Scared!" She said as she edged towards him.
"Practical!" he edged towards her.
"Scared!
"Practical. Mmm' he said as he kissed her.
And they kissed. Their kisses turned passionate and soon they made love. Afterwards he held her under her blanket on her bed.
"I suppose we'd better get going. They're expecting us for dinner." Hawkeye commented.
"So you think they'd notice if we weren't there?" Margaret joked.
He kissed her. "We'll talk afterwards, okay?"
"I don't suppose you've changed your mind?"
"Are you sure you want to quit?"
Margaret nodded. "Absolutely. I wouldn't offer if I weren't positive. I've worked hard enough to make up my own mind. If you don't agree I'm going to resign anyways. So you might as well say yes. This is what I really want. I meant what I said. I love you and I want to be with you."
He thought about what she said. "I wouldn't want you to give up your career for me."
"I'm doing it for me. I need a change. I'm taking a chance on something I believe in. I told you before-and I meant it-that I believe in myself. Now whaddya say?" she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Hawkeye grinned. "What the heck. I've always been a sucker for a blond in uniform. I love you, Margaret Houlihan and I can't imagine my life without you. And I really don't want to try."
And now he didn't have to.
The end
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Post by jessie on May 2, 2011 16:16:17 GMT -6
Awe it is over. What a amazing ending to this wonderful story, I got afraid for a minute. I love Margaret and Hawkeye together. I'm glad they worked everything out. I didn't want this story to end. You truly are a wonderful writer Melinda.
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Post by Sanda on May 2, 2011 18:41:44 GMT -6
Great ending to your awesome story Melinda Jo. I am soo happy that Margaret and Hawkeye patched things up.
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