Post by melinda on Nov 21, 2014 23:35:40 GMT -6
10 times Daryl almost said I love you, and the one time he did
1.
Carol was alone, broken, her heart breaking as if her whole world had just ended. And in a way, it had. For days, weeks, whatever (each day he couldn't bring Sophia back to her mommy seemed like an eternity in hell to Daryl), at least the end of the day brought the slightest hint of hope that maybe the next day would be the day Sophia would be found. But now, moments after witnessing Sophia (or what used to be Sophia) walk out of the barn, and Rick having to put the walker Sophia down for eternity, that hope was gone.
He was hurting too. Not as badly as Carol, of course. But during the course of his search for Sophia, he'd come to learn an awful lot about Carol, and about the human capacity to love unconditionally. He'd never experienced that kind of love, of course, and he'd never even dreamed that kind of love could exist.
But he'd never known Carol Peletier before.
She loved her daughter more than she loved herself. To Daryl's own parents, he'd been a mistake (he had lost how many times in his life his own mother had told him that during one of her drinking binges. Hell, even Merle used to mock Daryl and remind him of their mother's words to Daryl). But Carol was not Merle or their mother. She cried, she grieved, she struggled. She somehow managed to keep on struggling with her hope, and in the fields where he showed her the bush of the Cherokee roses, he'd seen that she would never, never give up on her daughter. When Shane and the odds were betting against Sophia, Daryl knew Carol never would.
And he kinda grew to love that about her.
Love and relationships and sex and all that, well, those thoughts all went out the window the moment Daryl'd encountered his first walker. It wasn't even on his mind, but still...just being around Carol...for whatever reason...showed him that love was possible in the world. She loved her daughter, and that kind of love would be the key to the whole group's salvation. It would be his, that was for sure. If only other people in the group could love like that.
The group wanted to dig, to prepare a burial ceremony for Sophia. Lori'd went to go get her, but when Rick's wife came back empty handed, Daryl understood why Carol wouldn't-couldn't- witness the burial of her only child. The women, they didn't, he could just tell. The looks Lori and Andrea exchanged, well, he surmised they just didn't understand Carol.
But he did.
He knew that this was something she would have to work out on her own. Hearing strangers speak of Sophia, whom they barely knew, certainly wouldn't bring Sophia back, and it wouldn't really provide much comfort to Carol. The only kind of solace Carol would find would have to come from within her.
And Daryl, more than anyone else, understood that reason perfectly. That's probably what he'd have done.
After the ceremony, he went to check on her. She was asleep, her once tidied-up corner of the RV (he'd once teased her about wondering if he was in the wrong space after seeing how much work she'd put into tidying it for Sophia), her covers over her head. Only a bundled up outline of her tiny body revealed that it was Carol, not just clothes or whatever, buried underneath the blankets. Not to mention the weak, muted, newborn-kitten cries that came from underneath those covers.
He thought about coughing, about announcing his presence, about holding her.
Instead he just nodded, though she'd never see that gesture, bowed his head, and his excused himself.
He'd come to care about Carol, but for that moment, he'd best leave that thought to himself.
tbc
1.
Carol was alone, broken, her heart breaking as if her whole world had just ended. And in a way, it had. For days, weeks, whatever (each day he couldn't bring Sophia back to her mommy seemed like an eternity in hell to Daryl), at least the end of the day brought the slightest hint of hope that maybe the next day would be the day Sophia would be found. But now, moments after witnessing Sophia (or what used to be Sophia) walk out of the barn, and Rick having to put the walker Sophia down for eternity, that hope was gone.
He was hurting too. Not as badly as Carol, of course. But during the course of his search for Sophia, he'd come to learn an awful lot about Carol, and about the human capacity to love unconditionally. He'd never experienced that kind of love, of course, and he'd never even dreamed that kind of love could exist.
But he'd never known Carol Peletier before.
She loved her daughter more than she loved herself. To Daryl's own parents, he'd been a mistake (he had lost how many times in his life his own mother had told him that during one of her drinking binges. Hell, even Merle used to mock Daryl and remind him of their mother's words to Daryl). But Carol was not Merle or their mother. She cried, she grieved, she struggled. She somehow managed to keep on struggling with her hope, and in the fields where he showed her the bush of the Cherokee roses, he'd seen that she would never, never give up on her daughter. When Shane and the odds were betting against Sophia, Daryl knew Carol never would.
And he kinda grew to love that about her.
Love and relationships and sex and all that, well, those thoughts all went out the window the moment Daryl'd encountered his first walker. It wasn't even on his mind, but still...just being around Carol...for whatever reason...showed him that love was possible in the world. She loved her daughter, and that kind of love would be the key to the whole group's salvation. It would be his, that was for sure. If only other people in the group could love like that.
The group wanted to dig, to prepare a burial ceremony for Sophia. Lori'd went to go get her, but when Rick's wife came back empty handed, Daryl understood why Carol wouldn't-couldn't- witness the burial of her only child. The women, they didn't, he could just tell. The looks Lori and Andrea exchanged, well, he surmised they just didn't understand Carol.
But he did.
He knew that this was something she would have to work out on her own. Hearing strangers speak of Sophia, whom they barely knew, certainly wouldn't bring Sophia back, and it wouldn't really provide much comfort to Carol. The only kind of solace Carol would find would have to come from within her.
And Daryl, more than anyone else, understood that reason perfectly. That's probably what he'd have done.
After the ceremony, he went to check on her. She was asleep, her once tidied-up corner of the RV (he'd once teased her about wondering if he was in the wrong space after seeing how much work she'd put into tidying it for Sophia), her covers over her head. Only a bundled up outline of her tiny body revealed that it was Carol, not just clothes or whatever, buried underneath the blankets. Not to mention the weak, muted, newborn-kitten cries that came from underneath those covers.
He thought about coughing, about announcing his presence, about holding her.
Instead he just nodded, though she'd never see that gesture, bowed his head, and his excused himself.
He'd come to care about Carol, but for that moment, he'd best leave that thought to himself.
tbc
