Post by melindajo2000 on Dec 5, 2012 9:33:05 GMT -6
It was Christmas Eve, and it was her first holiday without him. JR. The man who was larger than life, the man who'd tortured her and delighted her and made her life interesting for more than thirty years, and now he was gone. She didn't know how she would make it through the night. Drinking was not an option,
“Don't go and do anything stupid, Sugar. We both know I'm not worth it,” Sue Ellen could picture him chuckling to himself if he were there to see her.
But the fact was, he wasn't, and so she tried to pick up the pieces of her life, something that living with JR had taught her oh so well. But in the back of her mind, she'd always known that if she were to fall, JR would be right there to pick up the pieces. But he wasn't, so she would have to come to terms with this great loss on her own.
“d**n you, JR. You know how I felt about you. Why did you do this to me? How could you do this to your son. You know how I feel...but forget about that. Think of John Ross. He needs you- he's always needed you. And now you've left us. You've left us with nothing but memories.”
Some were good, mostly bad, but now they were all she had left of him. She'd remembered all too well how she'd gotten the call from the hospital in the middle of the night, and how she'd had to tell John Ross that his father was gone.
“John Ross you need to meet me at my hotel room.”
“What is it, Mom? Can't it wait? It's like three freaking o'clock in the morning.”
“No. Trust me, you'll hate yourself if you don't come here. I'll see you in a bit.”
Once John Ross arrived, ironically in a Stetson and cowboy boots, she could tell he'd been irritated with her for disturbing his sleep. He'd been losing a lot of sleep over Elena lately, and upsetting him was the last thing she wanted to do. But he needed to hear this, that his beloved father was gone, and he needed to hear it from her.
“Sit down, John Ross,” Sue Ellen spoke in a manner that gave her son no other alternative.
“What is it Mom? Is it about your race for governor?”
“I've suspended my campaign,” she sighed.
“What for? You were doing so well. Imagine- my mama leading the state of Texas,” John Ross grinned, but that smile quickly faded as he started to suspect that something was wrong, terribly wrong.
“John Ross, I don't know how to tell you this...I don't want to tell you this...”
As he watched the tears fall down her face John Ross knew that this was serious.
“What is it, Mom? Are you sick? You know we have money. We can fix everything with a little cash.”
She saw his father in him very much at that moment.
“John Ross, this is not about me. It's about your father.”
“What has the old bastard done this time? Did he swindle Bobby out of Southfork? Good for him, I say.”
“He'll never be at Southfork again,” Sue Ellen really started to cry.
“What is it, Mom? You're starting to scare me.”
“John Ross, this breaks my heart to tell you this, but your father...he's gone.”
“Where'd he go off to this time? Off to swindle some more Venezuelans?” John Ross chuckled, as denial began to sink in.
“No, Son. He's gone. Your father is really gone.”
John Ross threw his Stetson across the room and began to pace the floor. “What are you telling me, Mom? If you've got something to say then just say it!” he demanded.
“I got a call a few hours ago from the hospital. Your father was sick, very sick, and he never told any of us. I'm sorry, John Ross. But your father...”
“Don't say it!” he demanded. “Don't you dare tell me that there's anything wrong with my daddy! He's probably just off running around with some other woman and you can't stand that. You never could stand to see my daddy happy!” he accused while fighting back tears.
“John Ross, I'm sorry. Your father is gone. I saw him myself.”
“where is he? I want to see the old man for myself.”
“It's too late. And it wouldn't do you any good. You know me, John Ross. I would never lie to you, not about something like this.”
Sue Ellen reached over to embrace her only son, but he wouldn't have any of it. He pushed her away and wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Why didn't he tell us? Why didn't he tell me?” John Ross demanded.
“I guess he just decided that he wanted to be unselfish for the first time in his life. What good would it have done if we would have known? Your father and I would have continued to fight, and you wouldn't have believed him. I guess he thought it was better this way.”
“Does Uncle Bobby know?”
“Yes, and he's making arrangements as we speak. I'm so sorry, John Ross.”
He fell to the floor, burying his face in his hands as not to let his mother see him so weak. That wasn't what his father would have wanted, to watch him break down, but he didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything but the fact that he would never see his father again.
Sue Ellen knelt on the floor, grabbing John Ross's hands. “Listen to me. You have to be strong. It's what he would have wanted.”
“You can't tell me how to deal with this! You hated his rotten guts, remember?”
That hurt. “Yes, at times I hated him, but there were also times I loved him very deeply. He was the most important person in my life, except for you, and I would do anything if I could just see him one last time. To tell him I was sorry. To tell him anything, really. But we can't, and we have to go on.”.
“That's easy for you to say. You gave up on him a long time ago. I didn't. I was there in the home, visiting him. Where were you?”
Sue Ellen said nothing.
“You stopped caring about my daddy a long time ago, and that's how long it will be before I can forgive you!” John Ross stood up and stormed out of his mother's hotel room, leaving her broken and shattered.
So it had been a month since she had seen her only child. It was Christmas Eve, and for the first time in her life, Sue Ellen felt broken, completely broken. She'd lost everything. She lost her husband, and now she had lost her only child. She had nothing left to live for.
Bobby had invited her to Southfork for the holiday, but she had declined. It would have been too painful to be there without her beloved. She didn't know what she would do to get through the night, but she would do something. She always was a fighter, and she knew that was what JR had loved about her.
He'd been there when she fell, locking her in a sanitarium at one point. But he was also there for some of the brightest days of her life. Their weddings. The barbeques. When he realized that John Ross was indeed his son. She was all alone with her memories, and for a minute she thought she was going to lose it completely.
There was a knock on her hotel room. “Go away,” she shouted through her tears.
But the visitor persisted. Finally she got up to answer it, not caring what she looked like, and to her surprise it was her son. He ran over and embraced her as if he hadn't seen her in years.
“John Ross? What are you doing here?”
“It's Christmas Eve, Mama. I didn't want you to be alone,” he replied as he kissed her cheek. She could see that her son had inherited much of his daddy's charm.
“I'm all right, son. You should go be with your Uncle Bobby. He's been through so much this year.”
“Uncle Bobby's not the one I'm worried about. I know my daddy wasn't big on apologies, but I don't want to be like that. I had to tell you that I was sorry....I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Mama. I know how much you and Daddy loved each other.”
“That's right. We had a special kind of love, one that most people wouldn't understand. But what we shared when we had you guaranteed that that love would never fade away. You are the best of us, John Ross. You're like your daddy in so many ways, but when it counts, you're a better person than he was.”
He nodded. “I know. I just don't...I just don't know what I'm going to do without him. He was the person I wanted to be. He was my everything.”
“Don't forget you have me, Son. And you have your Uncle Bobby. We're going to be here for you as long as you need us. Don't ever forget that.”
John Ross didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He pulled Sue Ellen close to him and they embraced, sharing their loss and sorrow and bittersweet memories of the man who pulled them together. It would be a long night, but together, they would get through it. It was once the three of them against the world, and in a way, it still would be. As long as John Ross and Sue Ellen lived, they both knew that they would never forget the giant that was JR Ewing. Never.
The end
“Don't go and do anything stupid, Sugar. We both know I'm not worth it,” Sue Ellen could picture him chuckling to himself if he were there to see her.
But the fact was, he wasn't, and so she tried to pick up the pieces of her life, something that living with JR had taught her oh so well. But in the back of her mind, she'd always known that if she were to fall, JR would be right there to pick up the pieces. But he wasn't, so she would have to come to terms with this great loss on her own.
“d**n you, JR. You know how I felt about you. Why did you do this to me? How could you do this to your son. You know how I feel...but forget about that. Think of John Ross. He needs you- he's always needed you. And now you've left us. You've left us with nothing but memories.”
Some were good, mostly bad, but now they were all she had left of him. She'd remembered all too well how she'd gotten the call from the hospital in the middle of the night, and how she'd had to tell John Ross that his father was gone.
“John Ross you need to meet me at my hotel room.”
“What is it, Mom? Can't it wait? It's like three freaking o'clock in the morning.”
“No. Trust me, you'll hate yourself if you don't come here. I'll see you in a bit.”
Once John Ross arrived, ironically in a Stetson and cowboy boots, she could tell he'd been irritated with her for disturbing his sleep. He'd been losing a lot of sleep over Elena lately, and upsetting him was the last thing she wanted to do. But he needed to hear this, that his beloved father was gone, and he needed to hear it from her.
“Sit down, John Ross,” Sue Ellen spoke in a manner that gave her son no other alternative.
“What is it Mom? Is it about your race for governor?”
“I've suspended my campaign,” she sighed.
“What for? You were doing so well. Imagine- my mama leading the state of Texas,” John Ross grinned, but that smile quickly faded as he started to suspect that something was wrong, terribly wrong.
“John Ross, I don't know how to tell you this...I don't want to tell you this...”
As he watched the tears fall down her face John Ross knew that this was serious.
“What is it, Mom? Are you sick? You know we have money. We can fix everything with a little cash.”
She saw his father in him very much at that moment.
“John Ross, this is not about me. It's about your father.”
“What has the old bastard done this time? Did he swindle Bobby out of Southfork? Good for him, I say.”
“He'll never be at Southfork again,” Sue Ellen really started to cry.
“What is it, Mom? You're starting to scare me.”
“John Ross, this breaks my heart to tell you this, but your father...he's gone.”
“Where'd he go off to this time? Off to swindle some more Venezuelans?” John Ross chuckled, as denial began to sink in.
“No, Son. He's gone. Your father is really gone.”
John Ross threw his Stetson across the room and began to pace the floor. “What are you telling me, Mom? If you've got something to say then just say it!” he demanded.
“I got a call a few hours ago from the hospital. Your father was sick, very sick, and he never told any of us. I'm sorry, John Ross. But your father...”
“Don't say it!” he demanded. “Don't you dare tell me that there's anything wrong with my daddy! He's probably just off running around with some other woman and you can't stand that. You never could stand to see my daddy happy!” he accused while fighting back tears.
“John Ross, I'm sorry. Your father is gone. I saw him myself.”
“where is he? I want to see the old man for myself.”
“It's too late. And it wouldn't do you any good. You know me, John Ross. I would never lie to you, not about something like this.”
Sue Ellen reached over to embrace her only son, but he wouldn't have any of it. He pushed her away and wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Why didn't he tell us? Why didn't he tell me?” John Ross demanded.
“I guess he just decided that he wanted to be unselfish for the first time in his life. What good would it have done if we would have known? Your father and I would have continued to fight, and you wouldn't have believed him. I guess he thought it was better this way.”
“Does Uncle Bobby know?”
“Yes, and he's making arrangements as we speak. I'm so sorry, John Ross.”
He fell to the floor, burying his face in his hands as not to let his mother see him so weak. That wasn't what his father would have wanted, to watch him break down, but he didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything but the fact that he would never see his father again.
Sue Ellen knelt on the floor, grabbing John Ross's hands. “Listen to me. You have to be strong. It's what he would have wanted.”
“You can't tell me how to deal with this! You hated his rotten guts, remember?”
That hurt. “Yes, at times I hated him, but there were also times I loved him very deeply. He was the most important person in my life, except for you, and I would do anything if I could just see him one last time. To tell him I was sorry. To tell him anything, really. But we can't, and we have to go on.”.
“That's easy for you to say. You gave up on him a long time ago. I didn't. I was there in the home, visiting him. Where were you?”
Sue Ellen said nothing.
“You stopped caring about my daddy a long time ago, and that's how long it will be before I can forgive you!” John Ross stood up and stormed out of his mother's hotel room, leaving her broken and shattered.
So it had been a month since she had seen her only child. It was Christmas Eve, and for the first time in her life, Sue Ellen felt broken, completely broken. She'd lost everything. She lost her husband, and now she had lost her only child. She had nothing left to live for.
Bobby had invited her to Southfork for the holiday, but she had declined. It would have been too painful to be there without her beloved. She didn't know what she would do to get through the night, but she would do something. She always was a fighter, and she knew that was what JR had loved about her.
He'd been there when she fell, locking her in a sanitarium at one point. But he was also there for some of the brightest days of her life. Their weddings. The barbeques. When he realized that John Ross was indeed his son. She was all alone with her memories, and for a minute she thought she was going to lose it completely.
There was a knock on her hotel room. “Go away,” she shouted through her tears.
But the visitor persisted. Finally she got up to answer it, not caring what she looked like, and to her surprise it was her son. He ran over and embraced her as if he hadn't seen her in years.
“John Ross? What are you doing here?”
“It's Christmas Eve, Mama. I didn't want you to be alone,” he replied as he kissed her cheek. She could see that her son had inherited much of his daddy's charm.
“I'm all right, son. You should go be with your Uncle Bobby. He's been through so much this year.”
“Uncle Bobby's not the one I'm worried about. I know my daddy wasn't big on apologies, but I don't want to be like that. I had to tell you that I was sorry....I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Mama. I know how much you and Daddy loved each other.”
“That's right. We had a special kind of love, one that most people wouldn't understand. But what we shared when we had you guaranteed that that love would never fade away. You are the best of us, John Ross. You're like your daddy in so many ways, but when it counts, you're a better person than he was.”
He nodded. “I know. I just don't...I just don't know what I'm going to do without him. He was the person I wanted to be. He was my everything.”
“Don't forget you have me, Son. And you have your Uncle Bobby. We're going to be here for you as long as you need us. Don't ever forget that.”
John Ross didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He pulled Sue Ellen close to him and they embraced, sharing their loss and sorrow and bittersweet memories of the man who pulled them together. It would be a long night, but together, they would get through it. It was once the three of them against the world, and in a way, it still would be. As long as John Ross and Sue Ellen lived, they both knew that they would never forget the giant that was JR Ewing. Never.
The end
