Post by melindajo2000 on Jan 15, 2012 13:14:00 GMT -6
“Why do you do that? “ Margaret asked as she watched Trapper kiss his latest date goodbye right before plopping his tray down in front of hers.
“Do what? Eat chow? It’s a little habit I picked up about the time I was one. I’ve got others if you what me to name them. I don’t shave every day, I wear the same socks sometimes twice in a row…”
“Oh,” Margaret made a face. “Don’t be crude. I meant why do you do that, with those girls? You’re a married man for heaven’s sake.”
Trapper started laughing as if he had heard the funniest joke anyone had ever told him. He always did find humor in irony.
“Stop that. You’re embarrassing me and making a jackass out of yourself. I guess you would be used to it.”
“Margaret, the day you get to lecture me about marital fidelity is the day I become Pope. Seriously, what’s bugging you? It can’t be because I get my kicks every now and then.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t bring up mine and Frank’s business, if that’s what you were referring to. It’s none of your concern. “ Then she sat straight up. “Besides, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh that’s so ladylike of you, Hot Lips. First you say you don’t want to talk about your affair and then you deny the affair that you didn’t want to talk about in the first place! I thought nothing would top this evening but I’ve really got to hand it to you- you’re a class act.”
“I will not let you sit here and talk down to me like one of your trollops. I am Margaret Houlihan. I am a major in case you’ve forgotten. And I’m also a lady. So in the future I would save your gutter trash for your bowling alley buddies and your poker nights. I’m not interested.”
“Sure you are Mags. You’re interested all right. You wonder what all the dames see in me. You’re curious and you just don’t want to admit it. You see me and my jokes and you can’t get past them but you also see the other ladies that do, and you’re dying to know what exactly it is that they see. Well, I’d tell you, if you would drop that chip off your shoulder for five minutes.”
Now she had had enough. She’d heard just about all she needed to. She stood up and splashed her glass of water on Trapper, causing everyone else to start laughing. They didn’t know what was going on, but everyone had a pretty good idea of what would happen next.
“You- you unconscionable heathen. Don’t you ever talk to me that way again. That’s an order.”
Before Trapper could say anything else Margaret stormed off, to the applause of everyone in the tent. Trapper looked around in mild embarrassment and took a bow before grabbing a napkin and drying himself off.
00000
He knocked on her door, and to his surprised she answered.
“What do you want?”
“I thought we could talk.”
“Why would I talk to you?”
“Geesh Mags you don’t have to say it like I’m pond scum or something. I’m just trying to make right what happened today that’s all. I mean we’ll be working together tomorrow night and I don’t know about you but I’d sure like to avoid an awkward situation.”
Margaret looked around and then she pulled him into her tent. “What do you want McIntire?”
“I came here because I felt bad for what happened tonight.”
“So you came to apologize?” Margaret asked, her arms crossed against her chest. He couldn’t help but take notice.
“No. I’m not apologizing. Why should if I’m not sorry?”
That was the last thing she expected to hear. “Then why are you here?”
“I feel bad because I insulted you, but you gotta admit it’s a little hypocritical of you to lecture me on being faithful because of your own ..situation,” Trapper said.
Before he knew what happened Margaret’s eyes were red and she looked away. If he didn’t know any better he swore that she was almost crying. Almost. “Hey, hey, kiddo, what’s the matter? What did I say?”
“It’s over. I’m finished with Frank. I’ve had enough of his lies and his broken promises. I just can’t keep on being the other woman. You wouldn’t understand- you have a hundred of them,” Margaret pointed out.
“Hey, it’s not like that. Maybe four or five. This week,” he laughed. She failed to see the humor.
“Oh what do you know? You know nothing about love. If you did you would never do what you do…”
“Hey wait a minute.” Trapper’s voice suddenly turned serious. “I do love my wife I’ll have you know. I love Louise and the kids more than anything. I’d lay my life down for them.”
“Then why do you do what you do?”
He thought about it for a minute. “I don’t know. Maybe I get lonely. I know that’s no excuse but if I’m alone too long I get to thinking about how bad I miss her and I start to go crazy. I can’t stand the thoughts in my mind most of the time. I know you think I don’t have a thought in this noggin of mine but I do think. Quite a bit you know. And I get so d**ned homesick..I know everyone does…but it seems like I’ve been here a million years and then I’ll never get to be back with my family. And it drives me nuts, right out of my mind. So I do what I gotta do to stay sane. I know that makes me seem kinda like a screwy guy but I don’t mean no harm to anyone. I would rather die than hurt my wife. Honest.” He looked Margaret in the eyes.
“Then why do you do it?”
“Why did you and Frank do it?”
“Now wait a minute buster. That’s not the same thing and you know it.”
“isn’t it? A cheat’s a cheat no matter what end of the stick you’re on.”
Margaret started to say something but then she caught her breath. “You’re right.”
“I…what?”
“You’re right. I’m a cheat too. And I have decided that I don’t want to be that person anymore. In the beginning it was fun and games and romance. Frank told me everything that a girl wants to be told. He was so sweet if you can imagine. But pretty soon I saw that those words were nothing but dressed up empty promises that mean no more than the latest rumors of peace talks- just enough to get your hopes but enough to devastate you if you believe them,” Margaret sighed.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I told Frank it was over. He’s having a hard time accepting it but I have to move on. If I want to be the kind of woman I like looking at in the mirror than I have to move forward. And I think it’s not too late for you too. If you put your mind to it you can put a stop to all your fooling around,” she pointed out.
Trapper smiled. “Thanks Margaret. I’ll think about it.” He knew that he wouldn’t stop, but he didn’t want to offend her, any more than he already had.
Instead he opened his arms, and reluctantly she leaned in for the embrace that he offered. It felt good to be on the receiving end of a hug with no expectations, she had to admit. Afterwards they looked at each other and she offered him an awkward smile.
“Go on, get out of here. And make sure no one sees you.”
“Don’t worry.I already told Hawk where I was going. It’ll be all over camp by morning.”
Her face turned flushed, she started to say something until he started laughing. She smacked him on the arm as he made his way out of her tent, leaving them both alone with their thoughts.
Who would have thought that Margaret would have found a buddy in Trapper? Not her, she smiled as she got ready for bed. Maybe he was okay after all. He was loud and obnoxious and made too many crummy jokes. But in his own way, he was all right. But just like other things in her life, that would be her little secret.
The end
“Do what? Eat chow? It’s a little habit I picked up about the time I was one. I’ve got others if you what me to name them. I don’t shave every day, I wear the same socks sometimes twice in a row…”
“Oh,” Margaret made a face. “Don’t be crude. I meant why do you do that, with those girls? You’re a married man for heaven’s sake.”
Trapper started laughing as if he had heard the funniest joke anyone had ever told him. He always did find humor in irony.
“Stop that. You’re embarrassing me and making a jackass out of yourself. I guess you would be used to it.”
“Margaret, the day you get to lecture me about marital fidelity is the day I become Pope. Seriously, what’s bugging you? It can’t be because I get my kicks every now and then.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t bring up mine and Frank’s business, if that’s what you were referring to. It’s none of your concern. “ Then she sat straight up. “Besides, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh that’s so ladylike of you, Hot Lips. First you say you don’t want to talk about your affair and then you deny the affair that you didn’t want to talk about in the first place! I thought nothing would top this evening but I’ve really got to hand it to you- you’re a class act.”
“I will not let you sit here and talk down to me like one of your trollops. I am Margaret Houlihan. I am a major in case you’ve forgotten. And I’m also a lady. So in the future I would save your gutter trash for your bowling alley buddies and your poker nights. I’m not interested.”
“Sure you are Mags. You’re interested all right. You wonder what all the dames see in me. You’re curious and you just don’t want to admit it. You see me and my jokes and you can’t get past them but you also see the other ladies that do, and you’re dying to know what exactly it is that they see. Well, I’d tell you, if you would drop that chip off your shoulder for five minutes.”
Now she had had enough. She’d heard just about all she needed to. She stood up and splashed her glass of water on Trapper, causing everyone else to start laughing. They didn’t know what was going on, but everyone had a pretty good idea of what would happen next.
“You- you unconscionable heathen. Don’t you ever talk to me that way again. That’s an order.”
Before Trapper could say anything else Margaret stormed off, to the applause of everyone in the tent. Trapper looked around in mild embarrassment and took a bow before grabbing a napkin and drying himself off.
00000
He knocked on her door, and to his surprised she answered.
“What do you want?”
“I thought we could talk.”
“Why would I talk to you?”
“Geesh Mags you don’t have to say it like I’m pond scum or something. I’m just trying to make right what happened today that’s all. I mean we’ll be working together tomorrow night and I don’t know about you but I’d sure like to avoid an awkward situation.”
Margaret looked around and then she pulled him into her tent. “What do you want McIntire?”
“I came here because I felt bad for what happened tonight.”
“So you came to apologize?” Margaret asked, her arms crossed against her chest. He couldn’t help but take notice.
“No. I’m not apologizing. Why should if I’m not sorry?”
That was the last thing she expected to hear. “Then why are you here?”
“I feel bad because I insulted you, but you gotta admit it’s a little hypocritical of you to lecture me on being faithful because of your own ..situation,” Trapper said.
Before he knew what happened Margaret’s eyes were red and she looked away. If he didn’t know any better he swore that she was almost crying. Almost. “Hey, hey, kiddo, what’s the matter? What did I say?”
“It’s over. I’m finished with Frank. I’ve had enough of his lies and his broken promises. I just can’t keep on being the other woman. You wouldn’t understand- you have a hundred of them,” Margaret pointed out.
“Hey, it’s not like that. Maybe four or five. This week,” he laughed. She failed to see the humor.
“Oh what do you know? You know nothing about love. If you did you would never do what you do…”
“Hey wait a minute.” Trapper’s voice suddenly turned serious. “I do love my wife I’ll have you know. I love Louise and the kids more than anything. I’d lay my life down for them.”
“Then why do you do what you do?”
He thought about it for a minute. “I don’t know. Maybe I get lonely. I know that’s no excuse but if I’m alone too long I get to thinking about how bad I miss her and I start to go crazy. I can’t stand the thoughts in my mind most of the time. I know you think I don’t have a thought in this noggin of mine but I do think. Quite a bit you know. And I get so d**ned homesick..I know everyone does…but it seems like I’ve been here a million years and then I’ll never get to be back with my family. And it drives me nuts, right out of my mind. So I do what I gotta do to stay sane. I know that makes me seem kinda like a screwy guy but I don’t mean no harm to anyone. I would rather die than hurt my wife. Honest.” He looked Margaret in the eyes.
“Then why do you do it?”
“Why did you and Frank do it?”
“Now wait a minute buster. That’s not the same thing and you know it.”
“isn’t it? A cheat’s a cheat no matter what end of the stick you’re on.”
Margaret started to say something but then she caught her breath. “You’re right.”
“I…what?”
“You’re right. I’m a cheat too. And I have decided that I don’t want to be that person anymore. In the beginning it was fun and games and romance. Frank told me everything that a girl wants to be told. He was so sweet if you can imagine. But pretty soon I saw that those words were nothing but dressed up empty promises that mean no more than the latest rumors of peace talks- just enough to get your hopes but enough to devastate you if you believe them,” Margaret sighed.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I told Frank it was over. He’s having a hard time accepting it but I have to move on. If I want to be the kind of woman I like looking at in the mirror than I have to move forward. And I think it’s not too late for you too. If you put your mind to it you can put a stop to all your fooling around,” she pointed out.
Trapper smiled. “Thanks Margaret. I’ll think about it.” He knew that he wouldn’t stop, but he didn’t want to offend her, any more than he already had.
Instead he opened his arms, and reluctantly she leaned in for the embrace that he offered. It felt good to be on the receiving end of a hug with no expectations, she had to admit. Afterwards they looked at each other and she offered him an awkward smile.
“Go on, get out of here. And make sure no one sees you.”
“Don’t worry.I already told Hawk where I was going. It’ll be all over camp by morning.”
Her face turned flushed, she started to say something until he started laughing. She smacked him on the arm as he made his way out of her tent, leaving them both alone with their thoughts.
Who would have thought that Margaret would have found a buddy in Trapper? Not her, she smiled as she got ready for bed. Maybe he was okay after all. He was loud and obnoxious and made too many crummy jokes. But in his own way, he was all right. But just like other things in her life, that would be her little secret.
The end
I LOVED the M*A*S*H spin off Trapper John MD. 
