Post by melindajo2000 on Jul 21, 2010 17:34:22 GMT -6
This isn't a Jock and Miss Ellie story but it's a JR and Jock story so I thought it belonged here.
Today was what would have been Jock Ewing’s 73rd birthday, and JR wondered what he had become. He’d lost Ewing Oil, and he knew that he had no one to blame but himself. He’d squandered away the vast empire that was his daddy’s legacy, and he knew that he’d let him down. What he would think if he were alive, he couldn’t bear the thought. Every day he tortured himself with the knowledge that he ruined the Ewing name, and he swore that he would get the company back even if it took his dying breath to do so. It hurt to think of his daddy so he tried to block the thoughts out of his mind. But as he stood before the portrait, Jock’s haunting eyes watching him, JR knew that the approval that he’d so desperately sought all of his life was gone for ever, and he was a fool for ever throwing away so many wasted opportunities.
His marriage was in shambles, his future unknown, JR was a broken man. His daddy would be shamed if he could see him now. What would his daddy do? That was the million dollar question, the motto that had driven JR throughout his entire life. But somehow along the way JR had crossed a line that even Jock wouldn’t touch. He’d made so many enemies along the way. It looked like his worst one was himself all along.
Today he needed to be with his daddy, to feel him, to sense his presence. There would never be a body, life had cruely prevented that sense of closure for his mama and him. But he poured himself a bourbon and sat in the den and stared at the portrait. It stared back, revealing nothing. JR wished it would, maybe contempt, maybe pity, maybe sorrow. Instead there was the proud man that JR knew all his life. Too proud to beg JR for his company back. Too proud to cry.
Why won’t you speak Daddy? Why won’t you tell me what to do? I don’t have all the answers? I know I got myself in this mess and I don’t need anyone to bail me out. I don’t need anyone- I never have. But I do need you. You’d know how to fix this. You’d know how to put up a fight. I don’t know how much fight I have left in me. I’ve messed up Daddy. I’ve lost everything. I’ve lost Ewing Oil, I’ve lost our name, I’ve darn near lost Sue Ellen and my boy. What else is there? You always said without our name there isn’t anything else to go on for. I can see that you were right. I’ve been wrong all these years. Why couldn’t I see it when you were here? Why couldn’t I listen to you? I’ve only been concerned with my own ego and my own ambition to worry much about what anyone else thought- even you. And now it’s too late. I never got a chance to make my peace with you. I never got a chance to tell you all the things I wanted to say to you.
You were a hell of a man. You had a head for business- more than anyone I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t be at if it weren’t for you. Of course that sounds like I’m blaming you. You didn’t lead me down this road I’m on. I set myself here. I have no one to blame for this mess I’m in but myself. I’ve been a fool, Daddy, a real fool. You could always read people real well. You always saw right through me and my hare brained schemes. I never could pull a fast one over you, not for very long anyhow. You were trying to set me straight, but I wouldn’t listen. I wouldn’t listen to anybody but myself. I was always my own man. If I could only be half the man you were I wouldn’t be in this predicament I am now.
I’ll get Ewing Oil back, you watch and see. You taught me to be a fighter. I will make you proud of me if that’s the last thing I do. I can’t guarantee about Sue Ellen, she’s her own woman. But Ewing Oil is ours, it belongs to you and no one messes with my Daddy. Happy Birthday Daddy.
Today was what would have been Jock Ewing’s 73rd birthday, and JR wondered what he had become. He’d lost Ewing Oil, and he knew that he had no one to blame but himself. He’d squandered away the vast empire that was his daddy’s legacy, and he knew that he’d let him down. What he would think if he were alive, he couldn’t bear the thought. Every day he tortured himself with the knowledge that he ruined the Ewing name, and he swore that he would get the company back even if it took his dying breath to do so. It hurt to think of his daddy so he tried to block the thoughts out of his mind. But as he stood before the portrait, Jock’s haunting eyes watching him, JR knew that the approval that he’d so desperately sought all of his life was gone for ever, and he was a fool for ever throwing away so many wasted opportunities.
His marriage was in shambles, his future unknown, JR was a broken man. His daddy would be shamed if he could see him now. What would his daddy do? That was the million dollar question, the motto that had driven JR throughout his entire life. But somehow along the way JR had crossed a line that even Jock wouldn’t touch. He’d made so many enemies along the way. It looked like his worst one was himself all along.
Today he needed to be with his daddy, to feel him, to sense his presence. There would never be a body, life had cruely prevented that sense of closure for his mama and him. But he poured himself a bourbon and sat in the den and stared at the portrait. It stared back, revealing nothing. JR wished it would, maybe contempt, maybe pity, maybe sorrow. Instead there was the proud man that JR knew all his life. Too proud to beg JR for his company back. Too proud to cry.
Why won’t you speak Daddy? Why won’t you tell me what to do? I don’t have all the answers? I know I got myself in this mess and I don’t need anyone to bail me out. I don’t need anyone- I never have. But I do need you. You’d know how to fix this. You’d know how to put up a fight. I don’t know how much fight I have left in me. I’ve messed up Daddy. I’ve lost everything. I’ve lost Ewing Oil, I’ve lost our name, I’ve darn near lost Sue Ellen and my boy. What else is there? You always said without our name there isn’t anything else to go on for. I can see that you were right. I’ve been wrong all these years. Why couldn’t I see it when you were here? Why couldn’t I listen to you? I’ve only been concerned with my own ego and my own ambition to worry much about what anyone else thought- even you. And now it’s too late. I never got a chance to make my peace with you. I never got a chance to tell you all the things I wanted to say to you.
You were a hell of a man. You had a head for business- more than anyone I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t be at if it weren’t for you. Of course that sounds like I’m blaming you. You didn’t lead me down this road I’m on. I set myself here. I have no one to blame for this mess I’m in but myself. I’ve been a fool, Daddy, a real fool. You could always read people real well. You always saw right through me and my hare brained schemes. I never could pull a fast one over you, not for very long anyhow. You were trying to set me straight, but I wouldn’t listen. I wouldn’t listen to anybody but myself. I was always my own man. If I could only be half the man you were I wouldn’t be in this predicament I am now.
I’ll get Ewing Oil back, you watch and see. You taught me to be a fighter. I will make you proud of me if that’s the last thing I do. I can’t guarantee about Sue Ellen, she’s her own woman. But Ewing Oil is ours, it belongs to you and no one messes with my Daddy. Happy Birthday Daddy.
