Post by melindajo2000 on Apr 26, 2010 21:20:01 GMT -6
Here without you
Pam had made her peace. It was her time to go, and she was never going to see her loved ones again. The doctors had told her she was dying, and there was nothing they could do to help her. None of the money in world could ease the pain knowing she would never hold her beloved husband or son in her arms again. But it was better this way; they had lost her once; they just couldn’t have her enter their lives only to lose her all over again.
Every day was the same. She fought the temptation to call Bobby to tell him where she was. She longed to hear his voice, just to know he was okay. But that would make things worse. Not being able to be close to him was torture, and she hated herself for what she had put him through. How he must have hated her for leaving him and Christopher all alone! She just prayed that he had gone on with his life the best that he could.
Every now and again she would come across Bobby’s name in the papers and smile. Pam would save those clippings, knowing that it would be as close to him as she would ever get. Life did go on for the Ewings, and she was happy for him. It couldn’t be easy for him, and she hoped that his family was good to him. Most of all he had Christopher to hold on to, and that was the important thing. Pam looked down, thinking of her son. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what her son must think of her. How could she make him understand why she did what she had to do? There was no easy way of getting him to see why she had to leave her family behind. God forgive her, but she just couldn’t let her son see her the way she was. It would kill her knowing that her son was so frightened of her. She was working hard on getting past that when the doctors gave her the awful news that she hadn’t had much time left.
She was almost okay with it. There was no easy way of living with that, of course, but she had come to accept it that her life was ending, and there was nothing more she could do about it. She’d gotten settled into a routine that provided security and comfort, as much as she could get from life. All of that changed when her brother walked through the door. Cliff was the last person on earth she expected to see. How on earth did he ever find her? That made her nervous. If he was able to find her, that meant that Bobby might be able to, too. But seeing him brought back a flood of memories of her old life, ones that she’d tried desperately to leave behind. It was hard not to reach out and hold his hand or embrace him, but that would just make her want to go home again, and she couldn’t do that. As much as she didn’t want to admit it she was glad he found her. It was wonderful seeing him again, even if it broke her heart watching him leave for the last time. There was no way she could be honest with him. Surely he would be determined to be part of her life again, and that was something she just couldn’t chance. She just had to say goodbye, even if that wasn’t what she wanted.
But the more the days went past the more she couldn’t get Cliff and the images of Bobby and Christopher out of her mind. Seeing her brother stirred feelings in Pam that she just couldn’t ignore. She was homesick and she longed to hold her family in her arms. She saw how happy Cliff was when he walked in the door, and she just couldn’t forget that. It was cruel what she was doing to her family, and she hated herself every day for what she was doing. But what could she do?
She picked up the phone.
“Ewing Oil.”
“Bobby Ewing please. This is important.”
“May I ask who’s calling please?”
“Just tell him this is important.”
After a few minutes, the voice she had so longed to hear answered the phone. “Bobby Ewing.”
Pam tried to speak, but nothing came out. Tears fell from her eyes as she heard him breathe as he repeated himself. Finally he hung up, and she set the phone down. She didn’t know what to do.
Later that evening, Teresa went over to Bobby. “You have a phone call.”
“Thank you, Teresa.” He went to pick up the phone.
“Bobby Ewing. Hello? Hello? Please identify yourself…..Hello?” He slammed down the phone, wondering what was going on.
Hearing his voice was torture for Pam. She could her laughter in the background, and she wondered if it was Christopher’s. She had to find out. She called over her nurse and left instructions for what she had in mind. It was her life and she had the right to life it how she saw fit. She had made plenty of mistakes, and Bobby may never forgive her, but she just had to see him one more time before she left.
She had her nurse call the Ewings’ house and talk to Bobby. In disbelief, he agreed to meet the nurse the next day to talk about Pam. He did not know what he was in store for, and Pam didn’t know what was going to happen. All she knew was that she couldn’t stay away from him, not any more.
Pam had made her peace. It was her time to go, and she was never going to see her loved ones again. The doctors had told her she was dying, and there was nothing they could do to help her. None of the money in world could ease the pain knowing she would never hold her beloved husband or son in her arms again. But it was better this way; they had lost her once; they just couldn’t have her enter their lives only to lose her all over again.
Every day was the same. She fought the temptation to call Bobby to tell him where she was. She longed to hear his voice, just to know he was okay. But that would make things worse. Not being able to be close to him was torture, and she hated herself for what she had put him through. How he must have hated her for leaving him and Christopher all alone! She just prayed that he had gone on with his life the best that he could.
Every now and again she would come across Bobby’s name in the papers and smile. Pam would save those clippings, knowing that it would be as close to him as she would ever get. Life did go on for the Ewings, and she was happy for him. It couldn’t be easy for him, and she hoped that his family was good to him. Most of all he had Christopher to hold on to, and that was the important thing. Pam looked down, thinking of her son. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what her son must think of her. How could she make him understand why she did what she had to do? There was no easy way of getting him to see why she had to leave her family behind. God forgive her, but she just couldn’t let her son see her the way she was. It would kill her knowing that her son was so frightened of her. She was working hard on getting past that when the doctors gave her the awful news that she hadn’t had much time left.
She was almost okay with it. There was no easy way of living with that, of course, but she had come to accept it that her life was ending, and there was nothing more she could do about it. She’d gotten settled into a routine that provided security and comfort, as much as she could get from life. All of that changed when her brother walked through the door. Cliff was the last person on earth she expected to see. How on earth did he ever find her? That made her nervous. If he was able to find her, that meant that Bobby might be able to, too. But seeing him brought back a flood of memories of her old life, ones that she’d tried desperately to leave behind. It was hard not to reach out and hold his hand or embrace him, but that would just make her want to go home again, and she couldn’t do that. As much as she didn’t want to admit it she was glad he found her. It was wonderful seeing him again, even if it broke her heart watching him leave for the last time. There was no way she could be honest with him. Surely he would be determined to be part of her life again, and that was something she just couldn’t chance. She just had to say goodbye, even if that wasn’t what she wanted.
But the more the days went past the more she couldn’t get Cliff and the images of Bobby and Christopher out of her mind. Seeing her brother stirred feelings in Pam that she just couldn’t ignore. She was homesick and she longed to hold her family in her arms. She saw how happy Cliff was when he walked in the door, and she just couldn’t forget that. It was cruel what she was doing to her family, and she hated herself every day for what she was doing. But what could she do?
She picked up the phone.
“Ewing Oil.”
“Bobby Ewing please. This is important.”
“May I ask who’s calling please?”
“Just tell him this is important.”
After a few minutes, the voice she had so longed to hear answered the phone. “Bobby Ewing.”
Pam tried to speak, but nothing came out. Tears fell from her eyes as she heard him breathe as he repeated himself. Finally he hung up, and she set the phone down. She didn’t know what to do.
Later that evening, Teresa went over to Bobby. “You have a phone call.”
“Thank you, Teresa.” He went to pick up the phone.
“Bobby Ewing. Hello? Hello? Please identify yourself…..Hello?” He slammed down the phone, wondering what was going on.
Hearing his voice was torture for Pam. She could her laughter in the background, and she wondered if it was Christopher’s. She had to find out. She called over her nurse and left instructions for what she had in mind. It was her life and she had the right to life it how she saw fit. She had made plenty of mistakes, and Bobby may never forgive her, but she just had to see him one more time before she left.
She had her nurse call the Ewings’ house and talk to Bobby. In disbelief, he agreed to meet the nurse the next day to talk about Pam. He did not know what he was in store for, and Pam didn’t know what was going to happen. All she knew was that she couldn’t stay away from him, not any more.