Reid's thoughts , and his journal

[jessie]

Hi Sanda, Melinda and other fans of Luke and Reid. I'm going to try something different. This is a Journal Reid wrote, this was his feelings and what he was really feeling for Luke. I'm just going to start using dates, so they don't mean anything really just dates I had him writing in his Journal.

Monday July 3

Hey Journal how lame is it that I write my feelings in this book. Katie told me to write my feelings down, and I listened. I'm going in sane, I can't get Luke out of my mind, but why I don't know. I will not admit how much I ache to hold him in my arms, and feel his lips over mine as we make love all night. He would rather be with Noah the guy treats him like crap, but that is what he wants. I wish Luke would stay away from me, I find it harder, and harder not to resist my urge to grab him, and kiss him. I did today but he pulled away, and made me feel like crap. I know he wants me too, but he cares about Noah's feelings not mine. I need to move on, I need to forget this romantic notion that one day he will be mine. It isn't going to happen, and that should be OK with me, but it isn't. It isn't fair that I never get a break, I give my heart to someone only to have it broken, and I'm tired of this protective shield I try to hold around me. I want to feel loved, I want someone to call my own, I want Luke Snyder, why can't he see that, is he a fool? I have to go now , I'm taking Jacob for a walk, I love Jacob he makes this town worth living in. I have to forget about Luke Snyder, and I will but right this moment, I can't stop looking at his picture on my phone, give me strength to move on, for me, it is Luke's loss, he wants Noah, so be it, I will find someone, and someday I will forget you Luke Snyder, and I hope you will feel what I feel right this moment, I hope your heart feels broken like you did today to me after the kiss.

Reid closed the journal, and put it in his drawer, and got up to take Jacob for a walk so Katie could do the laundry.

[melindajo2000]

this was so good and is such a good idea. I love that its from Reid's POV..very original. please continue soon

[Sanda]

Jessie, I LOVE the idea of Reid writing a journal. Poor Reid in the first journal entry. I LOVE the fact that Reid loves baby Jacob and that he makes that town worth living in. Luke Snyder is an idiot for huritng Reid and giving Noah Mayer the time of day. Please do continue this awesome thread.

[jessie]

July4

Hey Journal I saw him today, he was with Noah, and it made me sick. He was looking at me, thank God Noah couldn't see or he would see we need each other. I want Luke so bad it hurts but he is in love with Noah, and I don't understand why. I have listened to him talk to Luke like he is his slave, not his boyfriend. Luke was feeding him, and Noah dropped his milk, he yelled at Luke in front of me, and a Nurse. Luke is such a great guy, but he cleaned up his guy, and gave excuses for Noah being a total jerk. I want to give up on him but I have never been more drawn to anyone like I am to Luke. We kissed in my office, Luke pulled away but he kissed me back, his lips were locked to mine for over a minute. He wanted me just as much as I needed him. I was a idiot I should have made a move but I knew he was feeling guilty he always does. I also saw he enjoyed it, and that at least felt good. I hated seeing him walk away from me, and go to him. Bob Hughes gave me his look telling me to leave Luke alone, but I don't listen to anyone just myself. I might listen to Katie, but that is about it. I have to go now Katie wants me to watch House with her. I love the show she said I was like the Doc in that story, I really hope not, but maybe I have a attitude, but I'm not that bad, I would try to change for Luke, but he has to want me, and I think that is a lost cause. I can't believe I'm pouring my heart out in this journal, but it helps, I hope no one reads this because if they did they would realize I have feeling too, I want what everyone else wants someone to love, someone to call my own. I want Luke Snyder, but I need someone to help me, it seems like I have everything going against me. His Parents don't like me, Bob Hughes, and so many others. I would be so good for Luke, and I would never treat him badly he would be my lover, and best friend, I would never talk down to him. I would treasure every minute of my time with him. I'm getting depressed now, I better go Katie will be upset, and she will eat all the popcorn. Yes Journal Luke and Food are my passions.
Bye for now until tomorrow.

Reid shut the journal , and ran out to Katie.

[melindajo2000]

this was so good, I hope Luke and Reid can become more than friends.. great POV story

[Sanda]

Great entry Jessie. I LOVE that Reid and Katie were going to watch House after Reid finished writing in his journal. I hope that Luke and Reid can become more than friends. I really dislike how Noah treats Luke. Reid is so much better for Luke.

[jessie]

July 6

Dear Journal
I'm so pissed off today, I feel like grabbing my bags, jumping in my car, and driving back to Dallas. If it wasn't for Jacob I would but the little guy really loves me, he needs a MAN in his life. Chris just doesn't like the same things Jacob does. Chris loves to watch sports, but asking him to throw a ball around is like asking him to pull some teeth. I took Jacob to McDonald's, Katie would kill me we go there every Tuesday, and I promised her I would take him to more healthy restaurants. Hey McDonald's is healthy he got lettuce on his burger. I know I'm being a jerk, but I'm a unhealthy eater, that is my only flaw. I have not seen Luke for two days, and it hurts , I dream about him all the time. I know that is pathetic, but I don't care, but if anyone ever read this I would die. I go around telling everyone I'm happy, but I'm not I'm lonely, and angry, and I hate going to sleep because I dream about him, and that only makes it worse. I look at his picture on my cell phone. I deleted them all but one, I found it the other day, and I have looked at it a million times. I should delete it, but I can't having it in my phone makes me feel connected to him, but I know I have to let go, but can anyone tell me how to do that. I better let you go, I have to go watch Toy Story with Jacob.

Reid closed his journal, he put it in his bag, and walked out of his room, and down the hall finding Katie, and Jacob in the kitchen. Katie ran over, and hugged Reid saying she had to get going she was meeting Chris at a restaurant. Jacob hugged her Mom, she left telling Reid to put Jacob to bed early, and no sweets. She left, and Jacob walked over looking at Reid.

"No sweets bud"

"You promised me ice cream"

Reid lifted him up putting him on the counter, and whispered, " She said no sweets, but ice cream is a dairy product, and that is great for kids"

Jacob giggled as Reid smiled, and got them both ice cream , than they went into the living room to watch the movie.

[Sanda]

Jessie, I LOVED the lastest journal entry you wrote for Reid's journal. OMG I could just picture Reid telling Jacob that ice cream is a dairy product. LOL ;D I LOVE that Reid and Jacob go to McDonald's every Tuesday.

[jessie]

July9

Hey Journal
Today started out like crap, but guess what I have to say it might be the happiest day of my life. I was at Al's getting my usual burger , fries, shake, and apple pie. I know I'm heading for trouble but who cares, I'm trying to tell you what happened. I have to tell someone, I could not tell Katie or Sanda my two best friends because they would tell Henry, and Chris, and so on, and so on. I love them but they can not keep a secret especially Katie. OMG I'm acting like a crazy person , one kiss, and I am on the top of the world. I was leaving Al's, I saw Luke in there but I totally ignored him thinking it would be better for me. I was walking back to the hospital taking the short cut through that park, it normally takes me 5 minutes to arrive back at the hospital. I was late, I'm never late but it is so worth it. I thought I heard someone coming up behind me, the park was pretty quiet , I liked that I hate seeing lovers happy, and kissing. Yes I'm jealous sue me, I want that, and I thought I never would, but after today, I think just maybe I might stand a chance. I felt someone grab my arm, and I actually reacted by hitting the person, and I felt horrible it was Luke. He never should have snuck up on me, but he was ok, he just had a sore jaw. I helped him up, and it happened, and I was never more taken back by anything in my life. He kissed me, the kiss was amazing, and I felt like I was in one of those silly movies Sanda makes me watch, the ones with the couples kissing in the rain. I hate those films, but today I felt like I was that film, and I loved it. Luke kissed me, and he asked me to wait for him, and I really don't know what that means, but right now I want to scream to the world I'm in love. I love Luke Snyder, and after today I think he loves me. I had to tell someone , and I know you will keep my secret, as long as I keep you hidden.
Until next time goodnight.

Reid shut the journal putting it in his bag. He turned off his light, and fell asleep, and yes he had amazing dreams about Luke, but this time he woke up feeling maybe this was his future, he sure hoped it was.

[Sanda]

Cute entry Jessie. OMG I think it would be soo cute if Sanda, Katie, and Jacob found Reid's journal. LOL ;D

[jessie]

July9

Dear Journal.

I'm confused, and a little worried, but I'm happy if that sounds strange it is. Luke Snyder keeps showing up where ever I am, and I feel like it is on purpose, but maybe it isn't. He came to my Office today, and he said he was in the mood for talking, and normally I would push him away, but I couldn't. I wanted to talk, and I wanted to lock my Office door, and make love to Luke right there on my desk. I had to be my usual sarcastic self, and I pretended I was angry that he showed up in my office. I was not angry I was glad, and having him near me was driving me crazy. I don't know what is going on with him, one minute it is like he wants me, and the next it is like he wants to be friends. I don't want to be his friend, I love him, but I can't say it. Luke asked me how I felt about him, and I knew he wanted me to say I love him, but if I do , and he walks away it would kill me. I'm confused what should I do should I go for it, and say it? What if he hurts me, I know I'm strong but I'm not strong when it comes to Luke Snyder. I don't know what that boy does to me, but I do know he makes my day just being near. I never wanted anyone like I want Luke Snyder, and I know we are total opposites, but I feel we are meant to be together, but I'm scared to death, and it makes me feel weird. If this is what loves is maybe it isn't worth experiencing because I'm having feelings , I have never had before. My head is hurting, I'm going to end this entry now, and go to sleep, and hope when I wake up, I will let Luke go, and move on with my life. I know it won't happen, but feeling this way is killing me, and it hurts so bad.

[Sanda]

Great entry Jessie. Poor Reid is so confused about his feelings for Luke Snyder.

[jessie]

July 11

Hey Journal

It is 4am, I just woke up from a dream, I'm so upset it was a dream, and it wasn't the real thing. The only problem my roommate heard me , and came in, Katie thought I had a fever, because my shirt was covered in sweat, but it was no fever, I was having a wild time in my stupid dream. Yes Luke was in my dream, and I can not tell you what happened because this would be a x-rated journal. I can't take my chance but trust me it was pretty amazing, but how sad it will never happen in real life. I have it so bad, I should move on , and find someone else. I just don't think I can because all I can think about is Luke, and it is driving me crazy. What should I do should I tell him how I'm feeling or let it go, and probably be alone the rest of my life. I hate this, I hate feeling this way, but I so want Luke Snyder I could go over to his place now, and tell him how I feel. I probably would be arrested, but do I care at this moment no. OK I'm signing out, and no I'm not going over there so don't worry. I'm going to take a long cold shower, and go to work, and try to forget this dream, and try to forget about Luke.

Reid closed the journal put it in his drawer, and went to the bathroom, to shower, but all he could think about was Luke.

[Sanda]

Great entry Jessie. OMG Reid has it bad for Luke. LOL Reid should go over to Luke's house and tell him how he feels. ;D

[Sanda]

Here is my attempt at a Journal entry for Reid's journal. I hope you like it.


Reid's best friend Sanda and her cat Tegan were spending the night with him. They were all three laying in bed together. Sanda and Tegan were sound to sleep. Reid was tossing and turning resting his eyes because be couldn't stop thinking about Luke. Reid got up out of bed quietly not to wake up Sanda and Tegan. Reid covered up Sanda and Tegan with the sheet, and blanket, kissed them both on the forehead and whispered, "shh, just sleep," as he grabbed his house coat put it on, walked over his desk, turned on the light opened the desk drawer quietly, took out his journal opened it up and wrote:



July 15
Hey journal,
I know that it 2am and I know that that I should be in bed asleep. I also well aware that I will be grumpy and grouchy in the morning without a full 8 hours of sleep but I can't sleep every time I close my eyes and try to rest or sleep I see Richie Rich. I love him so much and I can't tell him how I feel becuase he still with Mr. Mayer who treats him like crap. If Richie Rich was my guy I would treat him I like a king. That's all I have to say for now. I better get back in bed with Sanda and Tegan before they both wake up and discover me writing in my journal. If my best friends Sanda, Katie, and my nephew Jacob ever found my Journal by accident and read it, they would never let me hear the end of it.
Adios until next time



Reid closed his Journal, put it back in the desk drawer, turned off the light turned and got ready to get up from his desk and go back to bed when he came face to face with Sanda staring at him with her mouth open whispering,"hey doc, what are hiding there in your desk?," as Tegan stares at Reid and meows loudly at him.